When Growth Feels Like a Distant Promise: Knowing When It’s Time to Move On

At what point does one earn the right to autonomy at work?

How many years, how much commitment, how many quiet sacrifices?

journey.

These questions have been circling my mind as I reflect on my current

For a while, I accepted things as they were — steady, unchallenging, manageable.

Two incidents in particular stood out — not because they were explosive, but because they quietly made me rethink everything.

Incident One: When Doing My Job Wasn’t Enough

In February, I raised a concern about an incompetent hire — I reported it both to my supervisor and to the person we both report to. I explained that I was carrying out most of the tasks that this employee was supposed to be handling, leaving me with less time to focus on my own responsibilities.

But when that employee turned around and said I was "making things difficult for her," I was spoken to. In fact, I was told I was bullying her.

I was told I should not take any decisions or call anyone out — just report, and that’s it. But I had reported, and no action was taken, no conversations were had. I was reminded not to “use my power,” so to speak. What hit hardest, though, was when I was asked to take half the responsibility for a clear error this person made — a simple ticket booking gone wrong. A person who was hired as a transport incharge, could not book the right ticket, because apparently I did not give her all the access I had. 

How much training does an adult need to book the correct ticket? That question still sits with me.

The second moment was even more subtle — but far more personal.

It was a small win for the school, a new venture. A moment of progress. The team I mostly collaborate with — including one of the bosses — wanted me to be there. I asked my supervisor if I should come. I had just sent her the speech, after all.

Her exact words were: "I'm not sure if it's required."

If I try to give her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she didn’t know what the event was really about. Or maybe she did — and just didn’t think I should be around to "hog" any space.

Later that day, the school mentor casually asked me if I’d be attending the sessions. I had to mumble a sorry excuse.

I felt low that day — unusually low. If I'm not required for the small wins, then it means no one’s thinking of me for the big ones either. There is no path drawn out for my growth here. I am just being kept in the shadows.

Servitude may be my nature, but it is now been taken advantage of to push me into clerical roles.

I don’t need to be in every meeting. I don’t need to make any decision. But I do want to do meaningful work — thoughtful, intelligent work that sharpens me, grows me, and gives back to the world.

I want to be part of something I can be proud of. And I want to learn.

Because right now, if I look back at what I’ve learned here — truly learned — the honest answer is: nothing.

But that’s going to change. Because I’m choosing to change.

It is time...